– September 19, 2021
I am going to forego my regular review format, as I find that it isn’t necessary.
Just know that this movie is one of the BIGGEST pieces of crap to have ever graced a DVD. There simply is NO reason to watch this movie. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about this movie is complete and utter garbage. An insult to the genre. Even the director / writer was embarrassed by it and only used his initials. You would be better off to just stare at a blank t.v. screen for 102 minutes. Seriously.
Amazon needs to seriously consider adding a “No Stars” option.
C. J. Keene
– September 19, 2021
I rate this move a big fat “0”. I bought this movie because my whole family is into motocross and I thought there might be some good racing footage. To my utter horror, this was a poorly made (looked homemade) in my opinion soft porn, terribly acted piece of garbage. We turned the move off after about three minutes and disposed of the movie in the trash . What a waste of hard earned money. There should be some kind of warning to go along with the movie description, so no one gets ripped off like I did.
– September 27, 2021
Motocross Zombies From Hell is a 2007 film about three friends and their adventures during a motocross meet in a California desert. There are zombies riding in this event, and their manager is Satan. Plot synopsis complete.
This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t know me, so I iterate to you that when I say this is the worst movie I have ever seen, it truly is the worst movie I have ever seen. I’m not the type of guy that constantly proclaims every event in my life excessively, like a teenager. Phrases like, “this is the best song ever!”, or, “it was the worst thing that ever happened to me!” are not in my wheelhouse. I’m not a fan. So, I need you to really feel me when I tell you that this is, in fact, the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire lifetime.
MZFH is filmed with what I believe to be the same aud/vid equipment used for cheap pornography and the soundtrack is atrociously bad. Half of the movie is shot track-side amidst debilitating dust swirls so the viewer can watch seemingly endless loops of entry-level motorcycle racing unwind in Hell’s own tedium while tinny guitar riffs flop around flaccidly before dying despised.
The actors aren’t. Period. And it’s depressing that they tried. The writer of this film needs to be reprimanded and the director should feel defeated, sad, and broke because of what he’s done, here. The earth is worse off because of this movie. I’m worse off because of this movie.
The project is so bad, but not a good bad. I wanted good bad. Obviously, when someone without a major head injury comes across a title like, “Motocross Zombies From Hell” in their local video store, they don’t pick it up because they expect a brilliantly made film. They get it because watching the result of a movie made under a $10,000 budget is often hilarious and very rewarding. That’s it. This hillock of bad decisions, though, doesn’t fit into that endearing category. It’s just bad.
The zombies are weak, and blood, for the first time, looked really expensive.
This is a blackout of fail and loss. The only redeeming value, for me, is that I finally get to say, with real conviction, that I have finally seen the worst movie to date.
Which is actually kind of huge, now that I think about it.
– November 19, 2021
Motocross Zombies from Hell (2007)
Two guys and a girl go out to the desert in California to participate in a motocross race. The run into team skull, a motocross team with a creepy manager and two Zombies who ride dirt bikes and kill people. Ok, we can go with that. Director Gary Robert also directed “Family Motocross” and served as a stunt man in the 2012 Zombie film “Outpost: The Black Sun” which is reviewed elsewhere. He as worked as a stunt man in some 81 films. He also directed “Zombies Gone Wild” which I have not yet screened. His directorial career spanned 2007 and a total of five direct to video films. He apparently likes dirt bikes and Zombies and thought “Why the Hell not?” His principle cast members, Jason McClain as Cody, the handsome, charismatic race champion,Rachel Diana as Lori the girl, and Dave Competello as Tom, the team mechanic, have very little other experience as actors. McClain never made another film. Diana never acted again but went on to produce several films in 2011 and 2012. Competello made a couple of shorts and one other full length film, director Gary Robert’s “Zombies Gone Wild”. The acting is the kind of piss poor stuff that we often expect in a film that was put together for a slender $75,000. The cinematography by Don Thiel and Trevor Xavier we concider the best, most professional part of the film. It cannot be easy to film sequences of dirt bikes running around with all the dust flying about. The story however is very sketchy at best. I cannot blame the actors too much as they had to work with the most minimal possible script. Or was there a script? Who knows? I could not find any person who willingly put his name on the credits as the writer. Aaaahaa! Perhaps no script existed. Perhaps Robert and company just started filming stuff and when the boom mike showed up they started saying stuff. Very possible. The Zombies can ride motorcycles and sometimes can be put down by shots from one or another of the large number of guns the kids have in their van. Not likely in gunaphobic California. One and a half brains for this total waste of time. I gave it that high a rating because it lacked the disgust elements that rates a zero on even a one brain. Not rated but it shows no forbidden body parts except for very short peeks at dead ladies boobies, they swear as you might expect people to do as they fight Zombies. The gore is light.
John F. Nordlinger
– November 23, 2021
This movie has remarkably bad production quality despite some interesting motocross clips. The sound quality and writing are especially bad.The acting poor and the story dissolves into a bland mess. The package arrived broken and that should have been a hint. It’s amusingto see how inconsistent the lighting is. I.m not even sure how someone does that. Still congrats on getting it made and distributed.
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